Sometimes in life, you hit a bump in the road you never saw coming! When the phone rings you are never prepared for it to be one of those speed bumps. I got a phone call tonight to let Chet and I know that, the guy who had been the best man at our wedding, chose this week to end his own life. Wow, what a bump! I never in a million year would have ever seen this one coming. I am sitting here typing, through blurry eyes, as I wonder what it is that makes a person think that dying is the answer to all of their problems. Chet keeps reminding me that we really don't know what was going on in his life. We lost contact with him some time ago. He and his family had different interests than we did, and we just drifted. I also feel guilty about that as well. I have put a lot of effort into hanging onto relationships that have or could have just faded with time. This is one I never really tried to hang onto too hard. There were so many thing that we didn't have in common. Now thinking about it, we haven't heard from them or seen them in probably two years or more. I keep thinking that this really shouldn't have hit me as hard as it has. He was such a fun guy! I cant imagine being his wife! How do you help your kids through something like that??! Their kids are right around Megan and Ford's age maybe a little younger. Old enough to reason out in their own mind that their Dad chose to die rather than stay here and work out whatever the problem was. I have only personally known one other person to have done this. I am really angry. I know I really don't have any right to be mad at him, and it won't do me any good to be angry, but I just don't get it.
I thank Heavenly Father that I have not felt the overwhelming need to end my life! I am grateful that there has always been more things to live for.
What do I say to his wife? Are there ANY words that will give her comfort? They didn't have the same beliefs as we do. Is there anything that I can say that will not offend or confuse? I have not had this many emotions running through my head so fast for such a long time, and I have to say I do not think it is a good thing! I am getting a headache.
Life is so fragile! It can end so suddenly. I am just shaking my head. I just don't even know what to think right now. Rick, even though we haven't talked in a long time, Know you will be missed! May heaven help me understand.