If you ever wonder....

If you ever wonder how I came up with the name Parker's Panic for my blog name....Wonder no more.

Have you ever had one of those days where you just felt up tight about everything? Even if there was nothing particular that was wrong, but you just had this foreboding? Well I have a lot of days when I feel like that, and I have to fight down the panic that seems to be building to the bursting point. That would be where the nae took shape.

Often the source of my "panic" would be my ever so beautiful, ever so stubborn, ever so like me children. I know, that the parent "curse", you know the one, where you parents at one point or another, inadvertently says...."I hope you get one just like you"...That curse. Well even if my parents never really intended for it to work, it did. At least to an extent, it worked. At this point, I need to apologize once again for all the sleepless nights, heart ache and thoughtless concern and worry I put my parents through. Mom & Dad thanks for all the love and support you showed me even when you really should have smacked my upside the head. (I would have been brain damaged if you had smacked me that often ;) )

In my last post, I blogged about my Megan and the struggles of becoming an adult against her will.... Well, that story is still holding true, but there might be a bit of a light at the end of the growing up track... I will keep you posted on this as things progress.

This time, it is time to vent about my very teenage boy, whom is most of the time SO very good to his Mother, but has such a similar relationship with his Father, as his Father had with his Dad.

Today, Chet's relationship with his Dad, is a very good one! They, I can say, are pretty good friends. Chet can spend hours talking to, and with his Dad. It is in a way, a really fun thing to watch, as I came into the scene when things between Chet and his Dad were in the least 'strained".

Looking back now, the things I hear come out of Chet's mouth to Ford, and vis versa sound so much like some of the things I heard between Chet and his Dad a little bit when Chet and I first started dating (forever ago).

Ford, doesn't see the things he does that could use improvement, and think that all that he ever hears from his Dad is criticism.

I have heard this statement from both of my children now so frequently in the last month, I have made a conscience effort to find other ways to relay whatever message I might be trying to send. Not with much success I might add, but at least I am trying!

This week, was the first time in my life as a Mom, that I ever thought my son might take a swing at me. It was also the first time he challenged his Dad in a physical way. I am sure as things progress this might not be the last time, but as it went, I was excused from the room (roughly) by Chet and the door shut very forcefully, and listened for a little while as Chet did what he does best. He talked. He talked to and with Ford for a very long time. About everything! (Yes, shouting was involved, just not the whole time)About the kind of kid he had been, about the fighting he had done with his own Dad and looking back and seeing that his Dad was trying to help him become the man he is today, and how grateful he is now for the effort his Dad put into being Dad, and not a push over. I didn't hear all of the discussion as I had a bit of a tantrum for being thrown out of the room, and I went and took a shower instead.

Chet did tell me later though, that he felt like it had to be just between him and Ford, and he was probably right.

Things since have been better, not nearly as strained. I am sure there might come another day, when the line gets stretched to the breaking point, but when it does maybe we will all look back and remember the lesson we learned the last time.

I am truly grateful for my family, and hope we can work through all of life's lessons as they come. One at a time, and remember that none of us are perfect, but that we are all trying to get back to the place we were before, together! In one piece, and a family!

The example of good parents who did the best they knew how, and who like me, learned by trial and error, are all around me and I am truly blessed to be part of the families I am part of. On both mine and Chet's side! Thanks Parents, for the lessons both learned and taught! I love you all!