My Megan will be 19 in just a couple of very short weeks. She thinks she is ready to fly from the nest and be on her own... I ,coming from the same place, at one time, that she is in now, can see how very hard it might just be that she will land. Still, there is a part of me that wants her to fly! Go... test yourself and the things you have, or at least think you have learned. If you succeed I will be here, cheering you on! The loudest and most proud fan! If you should happen to trip, and stumble, perhaps even fall. Need a steading hand, or even for me to carry you until your burden is once again manageable on your own...this too will I do! That is my job! That is why I am a Mother.
Why then, knowing that this flight, so to speak, is inevitable,and so necessary, is it SO incredibly difficult to just let the natural flow of things just take their course? Why is it that I want to stop her and groom her wing before she can take flight, to lessen the risk of inability to with stand possible and likely turbulence?
I know, in my heart and in my mind, that the only way she will learn this lesson, that is about to take place, is to experience it first hand and very personal! Why then am I so reluctant to let her fly? Oh how I wish I could stop every hurt before it is or was experienced. Stop every friendship from coming to a sudden and abrupt end, as they sometimes do. Due to no ones fault really, just life, and the winding courses that it takes each of us on, on our very own and very personal journey.
I have never been the kind of Mom to say, "my kid would never do anything like that". I think that is B.S.! Anyones kid could be that kid!
Truth be told, in some ways, looking back at what some call the "parents curse", I have been somewhat surprised, that my kids haven't been the ones out there insuring, that I got phone calls in the middle of the night, informing me of some sort of trouble they might have been in.
The Lord knew my needs, and the needs of my children ( Still wondering what ever made him send them to MY care??). I have been blessed with amazing children. Children who don't even know their own worth or full capabilities yet. Nor do I to be quite honest!
Perhaps, that is why I want, so desperately, to keep the pain, that I know is the best teacher, from them. I often think in my head, "Isn't there some other way???" Then I am reminded gently, of the Savior, and his magnificent sacrifice for us. There was another way, but it was not God's way!
I have made, and continue to make SO many of my own mistakes, how then can I keep my beautiful children from being able to do the same, and from learning the lessons that they were sent here to learn, for themselves? I can't! I won't! No matter how hard this is for me, I know it will be even harder at some point for them. That is, when they will know, that I am there for them! I have always been there for them! I will be here from them, as long as God is willing.
This is my calling as a Mother. I will do my best to exemplify it always!
Megan and Ford....I love you more than you could know at this time! I will help you in all of the ways, I feel, will be in your and my best interest! I pray that the Lord will be your guide, and mine, and you will know, you are NEVER truly alone! Your Mother!
P.S. Mom, We may not always see eye to eye, but I too know you have always had My best interest at heart. I love you and thank you for the good examples you set for me.
Sorry the emotional side of me took over tonight..... Let us all press on.....
2 comments:
I Loved this line, "I have never been the kind of Mom to say, "my kid would never do anything like that". I think that is B.S.! Anyones kid could be that kid!"
And it is so true!! But as parents I think we all hope and pray they will be better than anything we might have imagined!
You are a great caring mom.
Thanks Ms. Bonnie! I miss chatting with you. Glad to know there is a reason. I will do my best to keep in touch via our blogs.
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