Trapped...

The time of year that usually makes me feel trapped and needing to make an escape, is usually in the spring time. After a long, cold winter! (they are ALL long to me when they are cold. Which around here they all are!)

For some reason, this year, this fall, which is usually my favorite time of year, has me feeling the need to escape to some place unknown, but also feeling trapped without the ability to make said escape.

I'm not sure if it is because of the time of year that is fast approaching and the thoughts which it stirs in my head, the fact that my son is in his final year of school and seems to be pissing it away, the fact that my daughter seems to think that life as a family member is too demanding on her and her personal needs, and either treats everyone around like crap, or tells me she will move out if that is what I want!

Then again it could be the issues that my parents have been having for the last month and a half. The fact that my belief in happy ever after has been severely shaken. Not that I haven't had my own reasons for said shaking, but then to add this on top of it all, was just one more thing almost too much!

I know that we are all given experiences in this life time to help shape and mold us into the person that the Lord knows we are, but sometimes it feels like the pressures that are molding us might just be the pressures that crush us to bits!

Then some thing will happen in the comings and going of the people who are in our lives personally, or maybe even just those whom we might know through someone else, that reminds us that even though the pressure seems almost too much to bear, there is someone else who's pressure I am certain is turning them at this very moment in time, into a diamond of infinite worth!

I would certainly like to be considered a fine gem, but I am also certain I am in no way ready for the pressures that would turn me into the diamond of infinite worth!!

I am so completely grateful today for the challenges that God has given me in this life to shape and mold me, I sincerely hope that I will someday be in the very least a gem, and that in the making I might be a good example to those whom I am not aware are even watching me.

I also hope that with time I will be able to bear the challenges that are mine with the grace, that I am sure the Lord wishes often, would show through on the surface not just the seedling still waiting to poke through. I also can see, when I take more than just a second, to examine the problems that might seem insurmountable at any given moment, really aren't as big as they seem at first glance. Now, if I can just keep reminding myself of these things, I will be in better shape tomorrow than I was today!

As long as I continue to improve myself and not become stagnate, I am bound to get better right?