A Megan update

I just wanted to make sure and document one of the best days Megan has had in a while. Friday's mail brought home Megan's report card. She was anxiously awaiting it's arrival as she was hoping she had made some improvements.

I was exercising on the bike when she brought the mail in and opened the envelope.

Can I just tell you, that was the sweetest moment I have shared with her in a while! She did very well! Nothing below a C and she had 5 count them "5" A's! Never in her life has that happened for her. She was jumping around and screaming her delight! She actually ran out the front door of the house to proclaim to the world that she didn't have anything lower than a C!!!!

It was all I could do not to break right down and cry! I was so happy for her happiness! No one ever told me that so much emotion was going to be tied up in my children! So much happiness for her! Such a simple thing! It was such a good feeling to see her feeling so good!

When?

I am having one of the biggest struggles of my life so far as a parent. Megan will be 18 in a month and a half (about). The struggle comes in knowing when to step back and let go and let her make her choices knowing this will affect the rest of her life.
I tell you she and I have had more fights and disagreements about school and what the future might hold than anything else! I just can't seem to be able to step back and let her make the mistake of giving up on school. I just get so frustrated thinking that she is just throwing away this chance she has been given.
Then too, I am looking back at my own life and wishing I had taken more advantage of the opportunities that I could have, and wondering how different life might be for us now if I had.
Not that life is bad! Don't get me wrong there. I am just wondering, if I would be able to have more time to spend with my family making memories rather than trying to work, in hopes of someday having the money to go and make a memory.
I know that I can't make this choice for her. Or any other choices that will come to her later on, but, it for sure doesn't make it any less painful for me watching her go through this at this point in time. Truly I don't want to make choices for her. I just wish that I could have more of an influence for good in the choices that she is making.
This sweet daughter of mine whom God has in trusted me with the raising of.....I worry and want SO much for you! You are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for. I believe in you and now must sit back and wait for you to believe in yourself. I love you!

The top of my game....

Well it can truly be said that we can not always be at the top of our game. This week for sure can attest to that!
This is the first week back to school for the kids and work for me. Christmas break always takes its toll, but this year it has been especially hard.
Megan got sick just before New Years and has finally gone back to school today, after missing all week. Let me tell you having her home sick has taken a toll on me as much as it has on her I think. Not to mention the fact that now I feel like I am fighting the don't let me get sick battle.
So far I have been able to continue to go to work, but I am just dragging!
That is part of what I mean by not at the top of my game. The other part is just a personal struggle from within that I am not even sure how to put into words. It's just one of those times when you don't feel like yourself, and everything seems to put you on the defense or on edge.
I know this will pass. It always does. While it lasts though it sometimes seems like the hardest thing to get through.
Life is good, we all have a job, including Ford! YAY! our heath is good and the bills are paid. Things could be so much worse and I am grateful that they are not. I pray for those family and friends who are not doing as well.